Tag Archives: ramadankareem

Day Seven: 30 Good Deeds In Ramadan

 

DAY SEVEN: When You Make Your Parents Smile

 

And then we became parents…
And we realized how unbelievably hard it all is.
Oh my God, who knew it took so much energy to be strict? (I honestly thought my parents enjoyed having all this power, but it turns out, it’s not as fun as I thought!)
Who knew it was the hardest thing in the world to say ‘no’ to something your kids’ really wished for?

We thought they didn’t understand our struggles, when the truth is, they worked so hard to make sure we never felt theirs..
We wanted them to set us free. We didn’t know they were the glue holding our pieces together.
We didn’t consider it ‘sacrifice’ until we grew up and felt the need to put our kids’ needs before our own.
And when we finally stepped into the outside world, and took the separate journeys we couldn’t wait to start on, we realized no one can or will ever love us the way our parents do.

No one will pause his or her life to ease your pain the way your parents would.

You know what I’m doing right now?
Holding my head, while my imaginary friends compete on whom can remember the most touching childhood stories and yell them out the loudest!
(In case you’re new to the blog, my imaginary friends are all the voices in my head giving me ideas for my writings. They’re chatter boxes, they all talk at the same time and eat a lot and look funny, and some of them are real weirdos, but I love them all from the bottom of my heart LOL)

Do you remember any memories from your childhood?
Whether they were flashes of picnics, your dad running behind you trying to hit you with a shoe, your mom hugging you or punishing you or lecturing you, believe me, they’re all streams from the same river: love.

That’s what I learnt after so many years of feeling misunderstood or even oppressed at times (sorry mom and dad, it’s Ramadan and I gotta be 100% honest). I learnt that parents do it differently, but the goal is always the same: they want you to be the best version of yourself. They want to protect you and even though they don’t always do it so gracefully, they just desperately want you to learn from their mistakes and spare you the pain of what they’ve faced in life.

That’s pretty much the gist of it.

Since there’s no way you can repay them, Day Seven’s act of kindness is just a humble attempt to make your parents smile from the heart.

And I know some of you have said goodbye to one or both of their parents, and my words are bringing you more grief than gratitude. I know nothing I say can soothe the pain of losing a loved one, but I hope you’ll still put the effort to make them smile up in heaven. Just coz you don’t see them, doesn’t mean you can’t make them happy. One of the great three things we leave behind when we depart this world is a pious son or daughter making du’aa for us. That could be you this Ramadan.

And when you meet in paradise inshAllah, they’ll thank you from their hearts (you know after all the scary parts of Judgment day are over and we’re all chilling in our rose-covered palaces, by our rainbow pools, eating chocolate and NOT gaining weight!)

Beginners Level:

Say something nice to your parents. Something to make them feel all their efforts didn’t go in vain. I wouldn’t mind if you add a warm embrace to that and ‘hand-kissing’ and a little gift with a sentimental card. I really wouldn’t mind at all LOL

Advanced Level:

Make a special Iftar for them and treat them like guests of honor for the night.
Spend quality time with your parents and show them the love and care they have invested in you all these years.
I’m not gonna quote verses from the Holy Qur’an or Prophetic Hadiths about the importance of taking good care of your parents. You know them all I’m sure. So go do it from the heart…
And please tell them I say “Ramadan Kareem”

 

All my love
See you tomorrow inshAllah

 

Lilly S. Mohsen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Day Four: 30 Good Deeds In Ramadan

 

DAY FOUR

So in the name of holding back from over-sharing ‘personal’ stories, I’m spinning today’s piece around a little bit.

Today is all about you.

We’re closing in on the forth day of Ramadan, and perhaps its time we paused all this panic about what we’re gonna cook for Iftar, how the kids will fast during final exams, how we’re already drained and why we can’t eat ‘konafa’ without gaining weight!
It’s time to direct our attention inwards
Tell me….

Are you feeling the peaceful essence of the Holy month yet?

Or are you still adjusting between what you wish to become and what you’re currently stuck at?

Do you feel like you’re involuntarily riding an emotional roller coaster, taking you up to the highest levels of spirituality and calmness and then whoooshhh down to the lowest levels of agitation, making you take your anger out on your loved ones at the slightest word?

Were you soothing everyone around you? Telling them how much you love Ramadan and how people are blinded to the immense blessings of it, only to find yourself losing your temper and defying your own theories when put in a tough situation?
It’s okay, don’t be offended. You can be honest with yourself. We all do it and we all hate to admit it.
Are you being the best you can be?
Or are you giving yourself excuses because what you’re feeling or going through?

Only you can answer this question, for this is perhaps the ONLY time of year when you need to take a closer look in the mirror. You can’t blame your faltering on the devils (Duh, they’re tied up, remember?) and you can’t blame it on the long fasting hours because hello, everyone else is fasting too.

Everyone has problems and everyone has pain and everyone is struggling in his or her own way.

It’s a hard pill to swallow; realizing how you behave in this month, is essentially the ‘best’ version of you. This is as good as it gets. And yet it’s far from what most of us aim for.
Deep down, on some level, we all know we could do better, right?

This is your task for Day Four.

Raise the bars and aim high. Try to rewire your brain and your heart to be in constant progress from this day one. And the best way to do that is to go back to basics, and relive the life of the ideal model we should all aspire to emulate, our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him). Listen to his hadith:

“Whoever revives my Sunnah then he has loved me. And whoever loved me shall be with me in Paradise” (Tirmidhi)

 

Love

Here are some Sunnahs we REALLY need to bring back to this world:

Beginners Level: Choose at least one of the following acts with the intention of showing love to our prophets.

Advanced Level: Do as many as you can and try to cmmit to them for as long as you can

  • SMILE (we know you’re cranky and fasting, but still, crack a smile every now and then for God’s sake)
  • Try using the Siwak
  • Eat only when hungry and never leave the dinner table full (yeah good luck with this one in Ramadan LOL)
  • Try Cupping (Hijama) as a healing method
  • Drink in three sips
  • Drink while seated down
  • Sleep on your right side
  • Have dates for sohoor (dates as in fruits, I gotta be specific on this one, you know, just in case LOL)
  • Always say ‘Salam’ when you enter your house, even if no one is there. The angels are, and they’d like to be acknowledged.
  • Speak good or keep silent (don’t we all need this one)
  • Use oil on your hair (I’m pretty sure its olive oil but let me get back to you on that)
  • Brush you bed sheets three times before going to sleep
  • Pray the Sunnah prayer
  • Eat with your right hand

 

I’m sure there are many more, but now the main point is that we there’s so much we can do and yet we choose not to do it.
Promise yourself this Ramadan things will change inshAllah.
You’ll do what you can, as much as you can, whenever you can.

Good luck guys

All my love

Lilly S. Mohsen

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lilly S. Mohsen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lilly S. Mohsen

Day Three: 30 Good Deeds In Ramadan

 

DAY THREE

 

Raise your hand if you’ve had a ‘tougher-than-expected’ day today.

I know I’ll probably sound like a HORRIBLE mom, but for real, I have a son that can easily be nominated for the ‘Best Human Version Of A Headache’ award.

You guys remember him, right? I kinda whine about him and his autism a lot. But I shouldn’t whine in this blessed month. I should embrace his condition and accept it for what it is. I guess we tend to be short-tempered when we’re fasting, even though the whole point of this deprivation is to learn and practice ‘beautiful patience’.

Alright I’m switching to positive mode now.

He’s not that bad, he’s actually really funny when you get to know him. So today about two hours before Maghreb, and after telling him over and over how super proud I was that he’d been fasting the WHOLE day, he opens the fridge, takes out a yogurt cup and rips it open.

“Whoa, Yasseen it’s not time for Iftar yet!”
“I know”
“Ummm you’re not gonna eat that, are you?’

“Of course! How else can I continue fasting without having a snack in the middle of the day, ha?”
“Makes sense. Would you like some grapes with that?”
“What? Mom, NO! I’m FASTING! Just the yoghurt thanks”

But enough about us. How was your day?
Ready for your next challenge?
Well, here it comes…

FullSizeRender

 

Family isn’t just one thing, it’s EVERYTHING!
Family is the place where you’ll love and feel loved no matter what happens. It’s the circle of trust. The warm hug shielding us from all the craziness and despair. Oh my Lord, please keep my family safe for me. I love them all so much. I wish I could praise them one by one and tell you all about their awesomeness and quirks, but it’s almost time for my daily reality show named ‘Battles of the Bedtime’ and I need all my energy to knock the kids down LOL.

Okay so your act of kindness for Day 3 is to make a ‘priceless memory’ with a beloved family member.

Beginners Level:

Ask one of your close family members this question: ‘How can I make your day better?’
And then actually DO what they ask.
Married men must choose their wives for this exercise. (Not optional)
The rest of you guys can pick whomever you want, no problem LOL.

Advanced Level:

Who doesn’t love surprises? Sometimes it feels good to get what you want without even asking for it.

So for the advanced level, make an educated guess about what would make them happy and do it without asking. It could be helping with chores, playing a game with the kids, baking a favorite dessert… Okay I should stop giving you ideas coz I’m sure you guys know your family better.

 

What did I do?

I’m still a rookie with this whole Ramadan-goals thing so I’m realistically practicing the beginners level at least for week one inshAllah.
I asked my daughter when she came back from school (cross eyed and parched after a long day of fasting) what I could do to make her day better.

“I’ve been dreaming of donuts all day. But I don’t think coffee shops even sell donuts in Ramadan. You know what, forget it”

That wasn’t the problem really. I think it was more the ‘embarrassment’ than the ‘scarcity’ that I had troubles with. We live in a Muslim country, girl! I mean imagine the awkwardness.

“Do you guys sell donuts?’
“You mean Konafa”
“No I mean donuts”

Salesperson looks me up and down with disgust like I belong to the ‘Kuffar’ group or something. You literally feel like you’ve violated the sanctity of the Holy month if you don’t constantly crave Eastern food. (I don’t know if Western Muslims have that problem though)

Anyways, I got her a dozen and she was so happy, and utterly touched by the gesture.
Was it a ‘priceless memory’? I ‘Donut’ know LOL

I just ruined the moment, didn’t I?

Oh well, I’ll go die now.

See you guys tomorrow.

 

Lilly S. Mohsen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lilly S. Mohsen

DAY TWO: 30 Good deeds In Ramadan

DAY TWO

Soooooooooooooo?

How was your first day of fasting? Oh my God tell me everything! (Unless you’re still fasting of course, in which case I’ll walk backwards slowly from your cranky fumes and we can talk after Iftar. Really it’s no problem)

On the bright side, most of us have had (or will be having) their first iftar with the whole family. I had mine with my parents, siblings, kids, in-laws, nieces and nephews, with the background music of my newest baby nephew, screaming at the top of his lungs. (I call him Prince Bayazeed, but that’s a different story for another day).

It’s such a blessing to be with your family around this time of year. And for those of you who aren’t, I’m sure Allah understands and sees how much you miss them, and will reward you trifold for that alone.

Okay, so now that I’ve woken up from my ‘First-Iftar’ coma with no major mental deficits, let’s talk about today’s act of kindness….

When Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) was asked about the BEST act in Islam, his first reply was ‘feeding the poor’ (Bukhari and Muslim). And it’s Ramadan guys. Even the poor are fasting so it’s hunger over hunger.

 

poor

I guess it makes sense to start the BEST month with the BEST act so here it goes.
Ready?

Beginners Level:

Donate money to a food bank , a charity specialized in feeding poor families or an online organization like ‘Feed The Children’ or “Share The Meal

One of my favorites is The Egyptian Food Bank. You can text this number 9595 and they’ll charge your bill for an extra 5 pounds that goes to feeding the poor. I usually don’t type anything in the message, I just send the ‘red rose’ icon. I hope the male workers there don’t take it the wrong way looool.

Advanced Level:

-Add action to the good intention by joining one of those active groups getting together to cook and pack Ramadan meals for the poor.
-You can also make extra food at home and give it out yourself to the poor people in your neighborhood.
-Volunteer at one of those Soup kitchens (I’ve always wanted to do that) and of course you’d be extra lucky to find one specially developed for Muslims, especially if you live in the West. But that’s the good part, it doesn’t matter, hungry people are still in need no matter what religion they belong to, and for that you’ll surely be rewarded.

That’s all for now folks

Gotta go barge into my teen daughter’s room for no reason what so ever. You know, just to check on things and let her know she’s under surveillance!
I heard you’re not considered a real parent unless you do that LOL

Ramadan Kareem my lovelies

See you tomorrow inshAllah

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lilly S. Mohsen

30 Acts Of Kindness This Ramadan

30 Acts Of Kindness This Ramadan

 

Ramadan Kareem everyone!

Remember me?
Well. I never thought I’d be the kind of person who gets super excited about Ramadan and fasting in this hot weather.

Yeah, I was right!

I actually usually completely disappear (or more like evaporate) in Ramadan, to hide in my own little cave, just asking Allah to help me survive one more day.
But this year, I plan on doing things differently inshAllah.
Why?

Okay, I’m gonna be honest here. I’ve been studying about healthy habits and positive states of mind and stuff, and I was forced to take an up close and personal look at my ‘emotional’ pattern around this time of year.

About a month before Ramadan, I start reminiscing about the peaceful vibes, the togetherness and how much I need some private, quality time with Allah. I’m all like ‘Soooooooo niceeeeeee!’

But then the closer we get to the first day the more I start panicking. I actually had moments when I’d remember we start fasting in three days and I run to drink water! Add a whole lot of anxiety attacks, palpitations and stress headaches to that scenario and you’ll get a vague idea of my mental state on the night of the first ‘sohoor’. Which reminds me, can we please have a moment of silence for those of us hooked on morning caffeine?

Thank you…

Okay, so to cut a long story short, I’ve decided to do something about my ‘fear of fasting’ phobia. I’m gonna change my habits and actually do my best to seize every single moment of this blessed month, not only through prayer and reading Qur’an, but also by doing one good deed or ‘act of kindness’ a day and I’d love to share my journey with you guys because

  1. I love my readers so much and want them all to get extra rewards, and
  2. When I go public with my goals, I usually stick to them if only just to save face LOL.

Acts-of-kindness

Starting tonight inshAllah, I’ll be putting up ideas for one good deed a day aimed at beginners, and will also options for ‘advance-level-fasting-is-so-easy-for-me’ kind of people to up their challenge-loving hormones too.

See you tonight inshAllah
You guys ready?
Bism Allah….